Yes Minister

Bern   Since watching that great series on The Crown and Line of duty,   I have  been thinking about your precis of what those titles mean for people we should respect ;    KCMG . GMG  and all that Sir H    Well ,,as you well know , they refer to objects of worship .   The greatest danger of course is that  the person to whom honor is given  takes that honor  holy to himself ; the person thinks they are God . for example GCMG  where he thinks God calls me God. Best boy ( to himself ) So Dostoevsky was right ; if leaders /wannabes don't believe in God,  they become God.  Bern   I've been writing about that since they sacked us all and put their own golden cloth salesmen in   The people, being more sensible than wannabes,  like heavenly minded.,  but the new religions wannabes attempt to convince themselves,  not only that they don't have a religion ( giving them ...

8 minutes to oblivion ? Yes its so appealing to  everyone to appeal to the future - so easy it makes wannabes smile. ;   except that if you promise it and you don't really know whats possible,  you join the dreamers . And the dreamers are doing plenty of that at the moment , Proclaiming natural evolution , automatic progress and th e wonders of new technology ( eg Battery power this week ) is one those false faith things that gets both parties into BIG Trouble  They don"t have any Sir Humphreys to remind them, that even when they have good ideas , it is not their place to know things.  Imagine what a mess Burke would make on the environment .  Even Friedenberg seems to be getting ahead of himself too just as Hunt has done before in these matters of faith . For those who know ions , there is NO immediate breakthrough in storing KW on the horizon Step back and show some humility I

(Thinking bits in italics ) Minister : Yes   I do-- everybody does. so what else about climate change do you want to know ?  He's thinking   The correct answer is that I am not here to tell you what I think ------but what the party thinks I f you were to ask me ---whether I believe that AGW is changing the climate my answer is  I don't know ............ Normal now but never stated Interviewer What would you do to stop climate change ? Min     Exactly what the opposition says they are going to do----- only we would do it  better . The opposition don't know what to do either . By me drawing attention to them they will be forced to dream up some new scheme which stinks with the credibility of  quick fix desperation. tokenism ,big industry bashing  and skating on ice superficiality  Interviewer  thinking to herself  --The numbers of people who are worried that we...

PM   I don't know why all the fuss. I've offered to reduce the red tape . SirH  I think they don't trust you mam . You or Penny need to say directly  what you are going  to do about the situation . You gave the impression, until tweets arrived, that you didn't realize that duplication was the norm. Such duplication has to be justified if its not to jeopardize your accountability and your credibility . PM   Did my mention of marine parks and biodiversity legislation increase my credibility ? SirH  No, few investors on land or sea can get anything done because Greenlabor insists on control of both. PM Should I have mentioned the Carbon Tax ? Cameraman ( to himself) Do you want war? Everyone knows but you that the paperwork will drive people mad!  SirH  They are trying to be nice mam . You and Wong have to be joking . The current situation is outta control NOW - what will 1000's of pages of speculation on "how to "and reporting...

Bern : You have become famous ...again Sir H   (Jonathan Lyn's Play in Melbourne this week ) SirH  ; What I want to know is who is featured most;  HIM or ME Bern : Don't you want to know HOW you are being portrayed ? SirH   No No No . I know myself well enough and Anthony Jay knows me well enough . I just think Jonathan might not get the balance of power quite right. I have a feeling that like the public, the subtle balance of respect for knowledge has been overtaken by silly respect for raw power . Hacker: You mean to say you didn't have much power ... what a laugh . Bern: A bit like Tony Hodges and Cabinet might be struggling emotionally with a lack of real power ? Sir H    Yes  Bernard , unlike you, they get too involved emotionally. Our job is to observe. There are enough people running around here with their heads in the clouds and their feet running up a wall or 2  ; Our job is to try and introduce objectivity  by sitting on ...

Prime minister Gillard  and former Prime Minister Rudd hug and kiss on the floor of Parliament yesterday,  as do many others after the vote to establish a Carbon Tax is passed.(Wednesday  12th October 2011) PM Gillard talks of grabbing the future with both hands. The main apparent difference between Gillard and Peter Costello's "Future fund" is that the Greenlabor have nailed "the future "to the wall   Reducing carbon dioxide , or so they say . Mind you the Act will  set up a completely new taxation administration division to manage it. New game, New rules  and after spending Costello's future fund , they not only intend to grow their own fund , they appear to leave the rules of this new authority to administer for themselves Very hands off .  Our reporter Maximus is on the scene . We wondered how Sir Humphrey would like this new world order where Governments grabs the wheel every so often and then  hands it back...

Bern : How do you think Julia is going? Sir H   She is obviously very , very clever . Labor caucus too are very clever--If they do anything well they can move fast . Who else could introduce a tax without that tax hurting anyone you know . Only the big sinners of all time will suffer - the big bogeymen of big business . Bern  But won't a few Labor people see through this old lie and this superficial simplicity about economics?. Sir H  No..... provided she holds her nerve,  the use of fossil fuels will fall in 10 years ( economic factors ) and she has the prospect of being known ( superficially) as one of the most capable courageous polys ever .( should she pull it off) Bern But that fall in use levels will have nothing to do with a carbon tax Sir H   That's.. why its a brilliant strategy. She wins , we think we win .  Great intentions, great impressions Bern Only takes a few people to tell the truth though , to make the people realise they are ...

We can't let Julia go . The TV series would have been the drama of the decade - so real , so scary,  so painful .Hamlet without the blood - nothing better than vicarious engagement for entertainment. If only the ABC could get it , they would produce something honest and engaging instead of  reactionary predictable and lilley puddlian loud wars on everything .

Bern  Do you think Julia  is being a bit simple ----thinking the people just need a few facts on the carbon tax ?  Our Prime Minister  wears out her shoes to explain new taxes and failed policies  .  SirH   Of course Bernard You know new leaders always think they know.  Doesn't matter which party . The difference in Australia in 2011 is that....... I'm not there now and you're not there now either . Bern And the bloke that is there ---- was so many rungs down when I left , I didn't even know who he was Sir H   He probably knew he wasn't up to the job ( reached his level of incompetence a lot lower on the ladder ) at the time . Bern    So what option has he got --he would realise noone else seemed to know more than he did , wanted the job , or could say yes in quite the right way,  plus , he was impressed/ overwhelmed  with the offer and honor  .Where angels fear to tread . SirH  ...

The unbelievers have had a hard month . First we get a hung parliament ( which gives power to the truth ) and now,  we have a hung grand final ( which gives power to the unpredictable ) .The wannabes  may talk about paradigm change,  but the reality is ; they are not driving it , it's driving them  !   The hung ( sometimes keeping their place on the ladder is all they know )  think they are in charge,  ........but someone else more knowledgable clearly is.   All the certainties of the overly comfortable have been undermined.  How are Humphrey , His mentor (Sirif)  and Bern coping with all this ? Bern  Finally ....we have a leader SirH  They worry , BUT what about us . We normally know exactly what's going to happen, and just as much at election time,  as any .  We  know that whatever their brilliance, whichever Party they are ...  Whoever...

B ern    Do you really think they ( whoever they are)  thought long and hard ( as Shorten and Julie  stated) before Julia cut Kevin off ? SirH    "How long and how hard they think" ---- you have got to be joking putting all those words together mate.... in the one sentence .I thought I was getting you beyond the preooccupations of your limited education at   the school of mere description   Bern  At least the words individually are politically correct. SirH  "Long "and "hard"  is now a matter of personal interpretation  in the post modern jungle .Anyway,  what is  the moral justification in taking a long time to do things ? Be interesting to see how long it takes her to make decisions on policy in the time before the election. Bern  Those union people probably think any time at work is a long time . SirH  There you go -projection and illusion morality?   Maybe panic is slower than it us...

Bern to Sir H   Did you hear Kevin Rudd ( our PM ) give Kerry O'Brien (730report) a serve on the ABC last week . Lighten up Kerry Thought Rudd was right on the mark .The interviewer ,not the interviewee  , has the problem "  I was only joking mate !" What's O Brien  pushing the polls, the pedantry  and tea leaves stuff  .Both parties should know the fickle and avoid it - whenever they can . We can get any amount of that careless talk elsewhere. What's really worrying the wannabes in the ABC? Sir H  Maybe its projection - the followers  are worried about Rudd's anger because internally they haven't dealt with their own' They look like losing and they are ready to blame anyone but those who are really responsible ( cabinet ) Bern  So the leader becomes the focus of the limitations of the left SirH  Right on,  They don't know what they are doing and whe...

You have a problem ? Well just ban it ! That will solve it The news . 'Too many knives and knife damage' . MY decision: I've banned them The scene is a happy one . The minister feels he's done the right thing ; made a tough stand and dealt with the problem . Sir H is smiling too , in a way which means , he too is quite happy. Bern is not quite sure Bern to SirH  ....  but you know the history of prohibition and zero tolerance . Short term gain long term pain Aren't you worried it will backfire ? SirH on balnece NO-- just come back again . More decisions  for us . There are not many times he gets to make a decision so its importnat he feels and thinks he's making one sometimes . Also , it will please the people and it will bring more growth . I don't mind him making decsions that go nowhere but back to me . We get a new knives monitoring division and a new policy to counteract the effects of a zero tolerance policy . We are growing B...

The labor party is riding high, and YES, it worries us .See the LOCAL NEWS Our Mr Cheeseman is on a roll in Colac this week with another of his seminars on the future. This week its windmills, and he's is there fighting. Bern to Sir H Doesn't it ever worry you to see newchums always picking the new brumby called "the future" to ride . I know you sometimes think its good for ministers to get their own way. But surely there are times when the Minister is risking his future by choosing the expensive and fast option to the future. Sirh Not an easy call mate. As you say, sometimes they simply need to hit the brick wall or fall off . I mean your talking about the most common maladaptive disease ministers have - the quickfiz syndrome ? And one of the most costly ways to waste the people's money. Bern All those wacky ideas about how to change the world in one term of office. I guess you're right . Sirh Don't forget we are trained to deal with each c...

Bern Do you think The PM is worried that his love affair with hot air around the world could cost him the election? Is he worried by Barnaby 's reminder about John Hewsons advance of a new tax and its cost this week ? Will he, like Chamberlain, please the United Nations, but lose the people? Sir H I haven't detected that , I think they all still believe that they are doing the right thing and they will hold the confidence of the people till the election . Mind you having an assistant to the assistant minister for writing wongs doesn't sound awefully convincing ? Bern fair enough - I agree, they seem to be confident , but do you think the people are silly enough to fall for still more newly named carbon tokens and there ever changing implications ? Is not the whole basis for this grand new tax coming adrift? What are they aiming at oil , carbon dioxide or farts in general? Doesn't look like anyone is going to see the carbon dioxide-- carbon economy connection ...

Bern :Gee, you were hard on the PM's ideas yesterday. Have you ever really welcomed one of his ideas? SirH Not that I can think of. bern There was, I remember, that time when HE wanted YOU to look after some new department the govt had just created . They were really concerned about the environment being neglected , so they created a new deparment to focus on it . You didn't respond very well when he offered the job to you , but you said " yes" later with the thumbs up - not like you at all! Sirh yes true , But Bernard we always love it when they do the right thing bern its just not nice to sound too pleased - too supportive? Sirh Makes them suspicious .Also , if they knew we were wrapped ; that we agreed with them , they get nervous . After all, if they think about it too much they would realise they don't really like the idea of more departments. Got to maintain the illusion that this new departmnet will be one that THEY can control . Bern Fair enoug...

Bern :I notice that Bruce Esplin is still the commissioner of MDM for the B Victorian government . You'd think after all the many big fires and disasters during his term that Mr Esplin would have found something else to do? SirH Yes certainly you or me Bernard definitely. The point is Mr Esplin may not be appointed on how much he understands about disasters ---to know the extent of them within the governments responsibilities would be very dangerous and counterproductive. Bern : But he supposed to be independant and authorative Sir H : Yes , Just as we are supposed to be! Bern So where is the truth in all this ? Sir H You should know B , by now mate , that it's not the truth that matters, but which part of it. The wider truth is that disasters will happen, and governments can't always prevent them . However , what the PMR needs to do is make sure noone realises that its the very size of the disaster that demonstrates just how effective governments are in doing the...

December 2008 MIN Could you please make sure we send ALL of our old staff a christmas CARD in the next week or so . I have got a letter drafted and it needs to go soon ! SIRH Certainly sir I can try > we don't kep forwarding addresses for staff who leave? MIN why not ? SIRH sureley you don't want the PS to grow even bigger keeping track of files on subjects - esp those "no longer relevant" ? MIN just do it please - all of them BERN ( later ) what do you think he's on about humpy ?I notice hes got a little forwarding address and questionarre in the letter too . A blogger blog reference even too SIRH the minister is indeed full of ideas . Far too many infact Its important he doesn't get any more!We have enough trouble from those he creates from those we serve up to him . SIRH ( to mIN )Have tracked down many of the names of former employees . Just one thing about the letter . Do you think it might be easier if you let us collate the responses, rath...

Bern : What do you think about Brumbies mob trying to eliminate the influence of people with an interest in something in particular SirH Well , it's better that having people with an interest in everything and nothing in particular ----dominating ! Bern So what then do you do about those increasing numbers of people who just "want to have a day in the top job " or just want to push their own barrow in politics ? Sirh Simple bern simple---- we just just vote em out .Churchill said it wasn't perfect, but its the best we've got and mad they are that try to change it ! Bern Esp when they get cocky and think they are going to stop people like themselves from standing? SirH Just quietly mate, Just quietly!

Bern How do you think his THINK ads are going ? lots of calls on the 1800 number? SirH Don't ask. As far as ads go its going better than most, I feel sure. Nothing like distraction to add dollars to ours and others pockets. The idea is so lateral , its brilliant; it doesn't say anything: it doesn't say they are going to do something. Every paper and station in the country is rejoicing. Think of it--- its so simple ---so appealing . Bern The sort of idea every minister dreams of: says something, but says nothing . But why haven't the press picked up this element of the esoteric and the patronising ? Surely they can see its insulting to say to people --"think " SirH You mean, as if they don't already ? Bern yes but more like " think you idiot " SirH Dunno . lot of aussies seem to think you like them if you insult them ? Bern But No politician can afford to put his own intelligence above that of the people! SirH Bernard be careful -...