Yes Minister

Bern : Do you think Kevin's visit to the end of the Murray will prove a turning point for his revolution in carbon taxing ? Sir H Dear Bernard ---it may seem to you, as it does to many, that we think ourselves wiser than those in charge . Tis of course true - most of the time . I just hope though, that noone ever forgets that some kings, like the famous old one one who gave counsel at the sea, were infact very capable leaders indeed . Bern : You think there is any parallel then ? SirH Who knows? I get feeling the team may have missed the amazing paradox of another meeting by the sea to sell the limits of public enterprise to the public . Canute was not confused about who need convincing and where the problem lay in bringing the public with him . Visiting the place where we realise our limits , is a not a place to proclaim one's own power . King kevin's hasty visit to the sea can't be compared to Canutes - Canute was wise enough and concerned enough about the...

Bern to sir H How do you think the Minister for childrens services will go defending the governments carbon trading policy tonight on lateline ? Sirh Ask me another question Bern " Do you think the PM Wong and Garret have read the Manhattan Declaration ? SirH Well who are they ? Bern over 500 scientists ....at a conference on climate change Sirh are they the sort that agree with our current wannabes? ....OK what did they say Bern There is no convincing evidence that the Co2 emissions from modern industrial activity has in the past , is now or will in the future , cause catatrophic climate change SirH Well......... of course they wouldn't have read it Bern Surely the PM need to be advised about it - Its a bit inconvenient if they ditch the whole "inconvenient truth " claim . we don't want to get the blame if he finds out that his change lady has got nowhere to change to . Siur h he may be happy just to know its an industry group driving the conferenc...

BERN ;( to sir humph: What did you think of Garnauts report BERN : rather thin eh? SIRH What did you expect, bernard the wannabes want it simple; so we give it to em that way BERN But it says nothing . really I mean the cow cockies wouldn't know whether the government wants their cows to piss, fart or belch . SIRH Me neither . tha'ts the idea bern - we need money to find out. to decide ( page 53) Its all about the future - our future . being able to keep researching till we get some answers BERN But what about the press they want garrett or wong to say something concrete . wong to say whats wong . SIRH No bernard, you have got it wrong . They have won the election that's what is was about . lights and mirrors. Labor created a problem they could solve to win an election . The solution is in the mirror. BERN But the press are going to focus in on ETS SIRH Thats fine bernard ;its a perfect mirror : whoever dreamed up ETS has long gone from reality therapy and ...

Copyright Bern How do explain this behavoir- Former PM's Mr Keatings outburst . He has had all the power in the world , and yet he seems like he can't leave it alone . Sir H Well , it is not a well known fact ( esp amongst the plebs) that having power is not the same as having power . Bern What has that got to do with the price of grumpy old men mate ? Sirh we'll you see; I expect that like many PM's he was surprised at how little he could do , even when he had the top job . So when someone appears to get action in the job , or gets it easy , they can feel miffed . Bern seems a bit childish, none the less . Sir H wel i am afraid Bern , if you want to realistic , that is the type of person we have to work with . Make the most of it Bernard and you will do well . Bern we are realists then eh ? Sirh You bet . Its hard getting someone who knows and thinks into the top job because its a place where angels fear to tread . Those whose sense of person exceeds thei...

Bern Did that Podger bloke talk to you Humfrey before he told the world we were just doing what we were told? That we were losing our independance . Sir H Come on mate don't be too depressed we don't ever DO what we are told do we bernard? Ever ? Not yet surely . Bern It just appears that we do ? .......Fair enough SirH because they like to go "offsite "sometimes . we like to embarass the minister occassionally and if he promotes that by not getting competent advice all the better for us ---in the long term . I mean he can pay big bucks to get independant advice a few times, but the parliament will cut his legs off if he makes it his innnovation par excellence - the new novelty of liberal politics ---as some have been doing . we get paid to keep going , whereas the poor old consultants have to come, accrding to competetive model hand in glove each and every time . Now the pipes are out turnbull is going to have to consult dam builders and flood control consu...

PM Did you notice how the opposition were really lost for words -watching the treasurer give the budget speech this week . Bern . Father christmas in may - pretty irresistable ! SirhH The cat and the cream PM VS the mangey dog? bern yes and opp comment " not what he said but what he didn't say" is a stale old one liner that that's crass and ........ Independant Insider ( thinking).....cuts no where . Like the failure of the opposition to put some clothes on the bare empty rhetoric about climate change and how the govt are "not doing enough" - You could HINT at what and why !. They both get a great chance to put some points but , ho hum they both prefere to play mum ---its dumb.......Neither party are really serious about getting beyond the superficial .Know there is no science there --where the public are? the shallow facade of sound forestry policy was was broken by 4 corners. but, the opposition can't seem to make more out of ...

Bern . Did you hear what the PM said in his major speech this week ? He seems to be taking the issue of climate change very seriously NOW . SirH . Yes I had noticed that he has banked on it being an issue at the next election . I think he's right . There will be a climate change before the end of the year . It' s been a bit dry, hasn't it. You heard it first on blogger .

Bern : Sir H, Don't you think it's good that Mr Howard has expressed concern over all the experienced people who have left our ranks over the last few years . The experienced ones's that leave early. SirH Yes Bernard , of course , but if they are going to stop them leaving, leaders need to make up their minds about who they really want in the job. Do they want Hares OR Tortoises? I don't think they really know! You see , they have wanted us to cultivate hares instead of tortoises for decades and we have been pretty good at doing what they ask for .Government on both sides obviously prefer the sweet monoculture of more speed to the substantial substance that comes from having experienced and diverse staff. Bern I see - Any impression of slowness in our institutions reflects on them . Sir H Got it

Bern ...One thing is starting to really disturb me about my job ? i thought the job was about integrity, telling the truth and doing what we agree on Sir H Whats the particular problem? B.. well nearly every time the PM says something "WE MUST DO " you almost always try to do the opposite ; stop him- and that means I don't know where to go Sir H Look at it this way, He doesn't often know what he wants so we have to help him . Even when he makes a strong impression that he "does know what he wants"; he'says he's made an important decision, its usually driven by circumstance,or by others. whether its doing what the greens want like---- closing up forest to burn , or giving grants to the burnt in reaction . The PM is good at firefighting and his firefighting team is growing in a way that will grant him a place in history . The PM, even when he has some idea of what he doing , B ( completing the idea ) ....is nearly always doing what others wa...

Copyright mreforce@telstra.com Bern: The people are really worried about the drought. I mean really worried! Sir H: no ----they are worried by the possibility of climate change Bern: well thats makes 2 things to worry about ? PM: double trouble then SirH ? what do suggest ? SirH: I am not worried, neither are scientists who do not work for the climate change centre. bern : you pay them to worry don't you; with a name like that. what ever happened to "research centre" Sir H: no scientists argue whether the slight sea warming is anthro driven - they do not worry . It was very cold only 10000 years ago and very dry, so many scientists think the media have gone mad. PM : warmer can mean wetter eh ? SirH : you bet! Tell them "Stop panicing , Your not being rational , so until you are willing to be rational , lie down and rest . Let someone whose "on the spot" look after the situation." "Do what you can , where you are and you will be surprised h...

RUDD speaks OUT "Oh No! now both leaders are talking about religion. I thought we were agreed about keeping that stuff out of politics ? Is Mr Rudd seriuos? To sir H What do you normally do, sir h, when politicians start talking religion? Sir H I panic Hope the media will join us and give em no press. Bern Surely they will get over it and don't really mean to give these things some sort of rational basis - its part of pandering to minority groups - they don't have to believe it do they ? the irrationality that seems to go with it ? Sir H he believes it alright and thats dangerous . No such things are rsiky . it can mean they are speaking from the heart / Talking to the people openly about themselves and the things that really matter to them deep down - you heard him the heart of compassion . Only the thick intellectually are unemotional! Bern so its convenient, if not always truthful, to link the emotional with the unreasonable Sir H Yes, we are, of all me...

RE Tony Abbott responds today to calls for advertising control to "warn the public" Minister : All this concern about FAT that's hanging around makes me feel bad - guilty! SirH It's Ok minister. if you lose too much at your age, the wrinkles will show and frankly the longterm picture is that such an outcome, if you should be so lucky to achieve it ( ha ha ) , will be be threatening for your future .

Bernard( in frustration at long winded nothingness meetings) Does the truth ever matter here? How do you tell what the truth is when so many put spin on it? What did Solzhenitsyn mean? "One word of truth outweighs the entire world." PM well he lived in prison for too long didn't he . Bernard " Don't we ?" Prison is the key reality for too many in our so called free country. If you are a public servant who can't speak his/her mind you need to open it here or where others will HEAR IT - Solzhenitsyn is stating the big picture . Too many spin merchants are on a short leash to nowhere.

TENNIS ANYONE Bernard to SirH Love watching the tennis, don't you? Sir H You bet Bern You play a bit too , don't you SirH ? Sir H Nomore-- dealing with the hourly wild lobs of the PM is enough for one day, let alone a week ! Bernard . Whats your favourite retort then ? SirH A volley of any desription . Beranard that doesn't sound very effective, or responsible? Sirh The point is bernard, these wild players don't often act as good judge of quality of returns and because thye have all the balls at least it makes him realise he's not the only one in the game !

Minister I can't see why the public are so resistant to the idea of more choices at work . Sir Hum Well they used to be offered the choice to work on days when family gatherings were a premium- now they can be expeceted to have less choice, long term. Minister That not true. they can negiotiate now - they didn't have that choice before . Bernard yes technically perhaps BUT in the courts history you only use the term " negiotiate" when you lost. Besides, we don't want fries with everything. Will most Australains in 2006 still have a great day on the few family days when maacas is closed . when we feel Free to pass by maccas and most benefit from just being together and doing something different from outdoing each other in so called economic efficency games.

Bernard The people are really concerned about the way politicians seem to rush into solutions-- to solving our relationship problems in particular . Sir H Yes they don't seem to live long enough now in them to understand that people in love too quickly tie knots and repent at leisure.

MA ON win win You want to know something that pleases both the minister and his court? The research solution . More time to defer decisionmaking by both parties . Vic health minister today calls for "more research" B Well it works as long as the media and the people are sucked in by the technological fix idea They don't say ASK like children and sensible practical persons might - is it really rocket science we need here?

If a government minister meddles rather than managers, he will create a 3 headed monster rather than have one with just two heads . "The eyes don't have it "---the feet do . Find some eyes you can trust - they will be firmly connected to the ground via a body that's at least working - not just active ,well dressed and dancing about.

FTA --What the majority of people wanted to hear --more freedom, more trade, more agreement "You are so clever!!" "Why didn't anyone else think of leaving your job to the market before? Its a real win ! ". Trouble is , Mark Latham would then be right because you don't have anything left to govern and you are getting paid more than enough not to do what you no longer need to do . bernard "Nice choice of words" -" FTA bound to please all those who believe in the power of simple altruism". M "SometimesI think we are a bit unsure of ourselves "......- we do live on a island after all - SirH quietly "do innocence and isolation have anything in common ?" See cringenomore

You are right minister . Someone is to blame . Sir humphrey is not always willing to tell you why neither of you are getting what you want - chances are, since you voted for yes men incorporated that he doesn't know much about practical things either. Best you keep a list of people who have got a bad reputaion with him and the department because they know what they are talking about and have at one time said so . Otherwise its more of the same cycle . see Jensen in news weekly 10th january