Yes Minister

Bern ...One thing is starting to really disturb me about my job ? i thought the job was about integrity, telling the truth and doing what we agree on Sir H Whats the particular problem? B.. well nearly every time the PM says something "WE MUST DO " you almost always try to do the opposite ; stop him- and that means I don't know where to go Sir H Look at it this way, He doesn't often know what he wants so we have to help him . Even when he makes a strong impression that he "does know what he wants"; he'says he's made an important decision, its usually driven by circumstance,or by others. whether its doing what the greens want like---- closing up forest to burn , or giving grants to the burnt in reaction . The PM is good at firefighting and his firefighting team is growing in a way that will grant him a place in history . The PM, even when he has some idea of what he doing , B ( completing the idea ) ....is nearly always doing what others wa...

Copyright mreforce@telstra.com Bern: The people are really worried about the drought. I mean really worried! Sir H: no ----they are worried by the possibility of climate change Bern: well thats makes 2 things to worry about ? PM: double trouble then SirH ? what do suggest ? SirH: I am not worried, neither are scientists who do not work for the climate change centre. bern : you pay them to worry don't you; with a name like that. what ever happened to "research centre" Sir H: no scientists argue whether the slight sea warming is anthro driven - they do not worry . It was very cold only 10000 years ago and very dry, so many scientists think the media have gone mad. PM : warmer can mean wetter eh ? SirH : you bet! Tell them "Stop panicing , Your not being rational , so until you are willing to be rational , lie down and rest . Let someone whose "on the spot" look after the situation." "Do what you can , where you are and you will be surprised h...

RUDD speaks OUT "Oh No! now both leaders are talking about religion. I thought we were agreed about keeping that stuff out of politics ? Is Mr Rudd seriuos? To sir H What do you normally do, sir h, when politicians start talking religion? Sir H I panic Hope the media will join us and give em no press. Bern Surely they will get over it and don't really mean to give these things some sort of rational basis - its part of pandering to minority groups - they don't have to believe it do they ? the irrationality that seems to go with it ? Sir H he believes it alright and thats dangerous . No such things are rsiky . it can mean they are speaking from the heart / Talking to the people openly about themselves and the things that really matter to them deep down - you heard him the heart of compassion . Only the thick intellectually are unemotional! Bern so its convenient, if not always truthful, to link the emotional with the unreasonable Sir H Yes, we are, of all me...

RE Tony Abbott responds today to calls for advertising control to "warn the public" Minister : All this concern about FAT that's hanging around makes me feel bad - guilty! SirH It's Ok minister. if you lose too much at your age, the wrinkles will show and frankly the longterm picture is that such an outcome, if you should be so lucky to achieve it ( ha ha ) , will be be threatening for your future .

Bernard( in frustration at long winded nothingness meetings) Does the truth ever matter here? How do you tell what the truth is when so many put spin on it? What did Solzhenitsyn mean? "One word of truth outweighs the entire world." PM well he lived in prison for too long didn't he . Bernard " Don't we ?" Prison is the key reality for too many in our so called free country. If you are a public servant who can't speak his/her mind you need to open it here or where others will HEAR IT - Solzhenitsyn is stating the big picture . Too many spin merchants are on a short leash to nowhere.

TENNIS ANYONE Bernard to SirH Love watching the tennis, don't you? Sir H You bet Bern You play a bit too , don't you SirH ? Sir H Nomore-- dealing with the hourly wild lobs of the PM is enough for one day, let alone a week ! Bernard . Whats your favourite retort then ? SirH A volley of any desription . Beranard that doesn't sound very effective, or responsible? Sirh The point is bernard, these wild players don't often act as good judge of quality of returns and because thye have all the balls at least it makes him realise he's not the only one in the game !

Minister I can't see why the public are so resistant to the idea of more choices at work . Sir Hum Well they used to be offered the choice to work on days when family gatherings were a premium- now they can be expeceted to have less choice, long term. Minister That not true. they can negiotiate now - they didn't have that choice before . Bernard yes technically perhaps BUT in the courts history you only use the term " negiotiate" when you lost. Besides, we don't want fries with everything. Will most Australains in 2006 still have a great day on the few family days when maacas is closed . when we feel Free to pass by maccas and most benefit from just being together and doing something different from outdoing each other in so called economic efficency games.

Bernard The people are really concerned about the way politicians seem to rush into solutions-- to solving our relationship problems in particular . Sir H Yes they don't seem to live long enough now in them to understand that people in love too quickly tie knots and repent at leisure.

MA ON win win You want to know something that pleases both the minister and his court? The research solution . More time to defer decisionmaking by both parties . Vic health minister today calls for "more research" B Well it works as long as the media and the people are sucked in by the technological fix idea They don't say ASK like children and sensible practical persons might - is it really rocket science we need here?

If a government minister meddles rather than managers, he will create a 3 headed monster rather than have one with just two heads . "The eyes don't have it "---the feet do . Find some eyes you can trust - they will be firmly connected to the ground via a body that's at least working - not just active ,well dressed and dancing about.

FTA --What the majority of people wanted to hear --more freedom, more trade, more agreement "You are so clever!!" "Why didn't anyone else think of leaving your job to the market before? Its a real win ! ". Trouble is , Mark Latham would then be right because you don't have anything left to govern and you are getting paid more than enough not to do what you no longer need to do . bernard "Nice choice of words" -" FTA bound to please all those who believe in the power of simple altruism". M "SometimesI think we are a bit unsure of ourselves "......- we do live on a island after all - SirH quietly "do innocence and isolation have anything in common ?" See cringenomore

You are right minister . Someone is to blame . Sir humphrey is not always willing to tell you why neither of you are getting what you want - chances are, since you voted for yes men incorporated that he doesn't know much about practical things either. Best you keep a list of people who have got a bad reputaion with him and the department because they know what they are talking about and have at one time said so . Otherwise its more of the same cycle . see Jensen in news weekly 10th january

We know what you said Minister, but we've heard it all before, infact we've tried it all before (admittedly with a different name ) It doesn't work You're confused! .( there is a more polite way of saying this but I don't have time to beat around the bush ) Accountancy and accountability are too different things ,living in quite different paradigms. News about Doctors leaving December 17th Sound health care is not driven from behind by the reactive paradigm of purchaser and provider - economic models of mismanagement and misapprehension more like it . You need just one lateral thinker in Canberra Mr Abbott .Like many of your collegues , you have got too many yes men and too many ill fitting clothes

The lesson in the sheep story ...and how to stop it dragging on? - Don't jump at noise like the silly blighters who bob up and bleet at a moments notice - -------running the mob ragged ! Stay calm. --Don't take the responsive ABC bleeters too serioulsy either --they don't know much about the environment , real risks and dangers and it will come out --Keep in touch with the battleground out here . http://users.gsat.net.au/tuf/battleground.htm Well done in giving that noisy bleeter a hard time in parliament .

Whose going to tell our iching ears leaders that using consultancies is often an increasingly expensive road to non decisionmaking . How much duck shoving is being done in the name of good governance all over Australia from this abdication by ministers of ministry responsibility Got to stop . False idealism is driving it http://users.gsat.net.au/tuf see Rod Mackenzies letter Geelong A 22 October

whose going to tell Hon Hearmeyerand cabinet their preference for expensive heavenly minded solutions( the helicopters) is of limited earthly use in improving the real life dilemmas facing people on the fire forest issues on the ground.