April 12, 2012

Less Red Tape 

PM  I don't know why all the fuss. I've offered to reduce the red tape .

SirH  I think they don't trust you mam . You or Penny need to say directly  what you are going  to do about the situation . You gave the impression, until tweets arrived, that you didn't realize that duplication was the norm. Such duplication has to be justified if its not to jeopardize your accountability and your credibility .

PM  Did my mention of marine parks and biodiversity legislation increase my credibility ?
SirH  No, few investors on land or sea can get anything done because Greenlabor insists on control of both.
PM Should I have mentioned the Carbon Tax ?
Cameraman ( to himself) Do you want war? Everyone knows but you that the paperwork will drive people mad! 
SirH  They are trying to be nice mam . You and Wong have to be joking . The current situation is outta control NOW - what will 1000's of pages of speculation on "how to "and reporting "how done" do to business?
PM  Am I to be the focus of my staff and Greenlabor's  unreasonable non accountability??
no answer
SirH The people are sick of people in power trying to control how they, the people use everything, "You bad ,we good" -it's insulting to the public . You seem to think you are pleasing them when , infact,  you are pleasing the easy margin and rich ones who are the only ones in the country who can afford a lawyer to deal with this pile..
PM     I told them- I WILL reduce RED TAPE for the first time in 150 years .I am not sure about Penny and her team and Green labor - I've yet to consult with them

SirH I am sorry mam, your staff ONLY offered "first steps" . first steps  duplicating "nuisance and clear out undergrowth" you said
Cameraman (thinking)  Freudian  slip? If only she knew where the undergrowth was and how thick it was. .Finally they and every Shire DUPLICATING this rubbish round the country are going to stop worrying about twigs and branches ?? Oh God please make it happen ! 
Your other advisers are hedging and hiding on this . All of which is trivializing the seriousness of the situation. People are getting burned badly burned.
The people think you and your Green labor colleagues have no right to try and assess things that are firstly the job of the States  to assess.
PM You mean we could stay away from the messy bits and just come and trump the situation later ?
SirH That's the idea - occupy the high ground. On biodiversity alone, 3 different tiers of government send the investor out to try and track down some moving objects.
PM  You mean the "trumped up parrot "sort of thing ?
SirH  Yes,  but not just one parrot now - you have to pick from a list; And not just birds,  it could be amphibians, seeds and so on.  And of course it may not be there when you go looking for it..
Bern ( to himself) They would most certainly hope not! "Don't look too hard" . Its gottabe the law of diminishing real research at work !
PM  So as long as you,  as developer , pick the day or the season,  you would be right ?
SirH  Well yes sometimes  --but there can be lots of very small things to look for. You know what its like mam - the wannabes are sure to find , not what you know and have found , but that tiny thing you missed.
PM  Surely our staff would tell you which particular mobile object to look for ?
 SirH No , just a list and lots of formulas to process to see if you can "go" or "stop" .
Bern  ( to himself) The Arithmetic Method of making decisions. Must look that up . Sounds very innovative  
PM  So you reckon the same thing is happening from the Shires UP ?  3 or 4 levels of government all talking the same things - moving objects studies? What can we do to stop this?
SirH Make at least  ONE person do it properly and make that  one person name the bird and/or say what the real risks are !
PM  Sounds simple enough  Why doesn't it happen ?
SirH  There are mouths to feed , email boxes to fill, words to check, lawyers to engage
PM  OK  But who would know what the real risks are on a site ?
SirH  The people at the bottom
PM Well why don't they get heard ?
SirH Cause they are at the bottom ,  they are few in number, and making big decisions on biodiversity is for others up higher to do.
Cameraman  Clearly once you get beyond the paddock , no one upstairs is likely to have any idea.
Bern  ( quietly) Explains a lot  . A lot of waste paper !
Cameraman ( to himself )  A rather new species of  race to the bottom ........could be good
PM Can we not JUST  reduce the redtape to big economic projects-as we promised --- is that not that progress?
Cameraman (thinking) What blatant hypocrisy  Not if the small players and lower budget players still have to bear the same burden they had before,
SirH No, mam,  it is not progress . All previous governments of all sorts cut short the process, if they want to
Bern Some professional public spirited planners have been saying for decades that the whole ERA process is a mess ; doesn't do anything but frustrate the people involved . Its like cancer and that's s how you should treat it. The growing process grows reports and avoids decision making.  Talk about Duplication 2*2*2  right down to Shires - every single Shire in the country is playing Canberra's  tune and passing the buck around .
Cameraman ( thinking ) What these dummies don't get is that duplication is ok if its checking,  and with lots of money you eventually get enough of the right reports and give in , but these are journeys of avoidance therapy - good intentions creating enormous evil  and of no practical effect - as Bligh and Carr said some  ...what ;"buffers" .big wins... what ... what  for duffers? Go or stop ..don't meddle 
SirH Let just ONE person do it properly and make that person say what the real risks are !

Bern  Which bird you mean?
Sir H part of it . Our system of government is not about institutional responsibility, but about personal responsibility. If the system is working you should be able to name the person or persons  responsible.
Bern  bit like the name of the rare animal, very very hard to find
SirH Yes minister.. we used to talk to you about being snowed - but even Wongy's staff don't know when they are being snowed

Bern Why doesn't she just sack all those staff whose history is calling for reports on reports and who can't make decisions. Surely that would solve the problem.  At least  let ONE person do it properly and say what the real risks are !

Sir H absolutely Bernard . It would solve the real problem,  but not her problem

Remember you heard this first from EA 12 April 4:55
The original Yes minister on this topic is great. Hard to believe that the dilemmas of being PM are now worse that 23 years ago - some of the problems clearly of parliaments own making .

Theatre critics and  students of reality would recognise that in reality SirH is not there - he doesn't get a look in these days. Much of the talk is pure speculation and fiction.  The real throng includes Wong and Shorten and other like minded cleverals. SirH, like many who could speak the full truth on this matter have been banished  to Sherwood forest where they at least reflect on the dangers of office , learn something about ecology, the evil created by mere good intentions,  and  how the world really works . Remember you heard it first on April 12 from EA copyright


January 31, 2012

Sir Humphrey has become famous....again 

Bern : You have become famous ...again Sir H   (Jonathan Lyn's Play in Melbourne this week )
SirH  ; What I want to know is who is featured most;  HIM or ME
Bern : Don't you want to know HOW you are being portrayed ?
SirH   No No No . I know myself well enough and Anthony Jay knows me well enough . I just think Jonathan might not get the balance of power quite right. I have a feeling that like the public, the subtle balance of respect for knowledge has been overtaken by silly respect for raw power .
Hacker: You mean to say you didn't have much power ... what a laugh .
Bern: A bit like Tony Hodges and Cabinet might be struggling emotionally with a lack of real power ?
Sir H   Yes  Bernard , unlike you, they get too involved emotionally. Our job is to observe. There are enough people running around here with their heads in the clouds and their feet running up a wall or 2  ; Our job is to try and introduce objectivity  by sitting on the emotionally  driven as much as possible.
Bern  Makes us sound quite useful and ...unique ( smiles all round)  How did you cope when you couldn't get your way ; when your emotions ran high ?
SirH  You might remember that I had friends in the lounge . Our power is in knowledge and we remind each other that objectivity usually wins out in the end .
Bern A battle for another time ?!
 Sir H Clearly the objectors and gatekeepers thought in raw power terms . The moment and the superficial That is a huge mistake
"So oppressed they feel violence" nothing new in that : WE all feel powerless from time to time .The issue for democracy is self control .......and mentoring it
Hacker Nice to know... You mean I really did have the power ?
Sir H Yes,  and how do you think your veto power makes us feel when you used it !
We always  have the same challenge - to control our emotions  and to not think that mere status in words will give us status in reality . HE ( looking at Hacker ), or someone else, might choose to either give or take the power every time we ask for it  .
Hacker We will have to go along and see who wins...... I'm  buying the drinks !
Bern That's one thing to be said for status driven - they buy the drinks
SirH  Not only that mate,  they deal with the pathetic and the paltry. Remember, Bernard  that some people are happy with status . Others of us would rather have the power and not have to deal with the populace.
Bern If only they would listen 

October 13, 2011

Kisses, Hugs and Blessings over the Future Fund 

Prime minister Gillard  and former Prime Minister Rudd hug and kiss on the floor of Parliament yesterday,  as do many others after the vote to establish a Carbon Tax is passed.(Wednesday  12th October 2011)
PM Gillard talks of grabbing the future with both hands. The main apparent difference between Gillard and Peter Costello's "Future fund" is that the Greenlabor have nailed "the future "to the wall  
Reducing carbon dioxide , or so they say . Mind you the Act will set up a completely new taxation administration division to manage it. New game, New rules  and after spending Costello's future fund , they not only intend to grow their own fund , they appear to leave the rules of this new authority to administer for themselves
Very hands off . 

Our reporter Maximus is on the scene . We wondered how Sir Humphrey would like this new world order where Governments grabs the wheel every so often and then  hands it back quite deliberately (Copyright EA 13th October 2011 REST IS ON  On Youtube )
SirH Nothing new in that really . One day they want the power . The day after , they don't want the responsibility .
Maximus A bit childlike really
SirH  Yes , but completely normal and natural - infact we were good at dealing with that , when we had the chance
Maximus  You mean you don't get the chance any more ?
SirH No,  they didn't like the fact that we disagreed about HOW ... ever,  but we managed to hang around despite them - at least until Maggie and her clones got the hatchet out .

(In the room today we have a highly experienced independent soil scientist whose profession is set to get a major boost in the new compliance division of the new Authority to be set up to manage, maintain and keep integrity in collecting and handing out "the Fund" .  Independent Windsor and other Regional representatives have voted for the tax  in the hope of sequestering carbon in soils. 

Bern  So will it work Tony ?
Tony : How about  I tell you after my contract is over
 Bern : Cummon ...You  must have a view of how to make this GRAND HISTORIC MOMENT  this historic move to work for the future of Regional areas. ........More on YOU TUBE ..

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October 11, 2011

Slow cooking 

Bern : How do you think Julia is going?
Sir H   She is obviously very , very clever . Labor caucus too are very clever--If they do anything well they can move fast . Who else could introduce a tax without that tax hurting anyone you know . Only the big sinners of all time will suffer - the big bogeymen of big business .

Bern  But won't a few Labor people see through this old lie and this superficial simplicity about economics?.
Sir H No..... provided she holds her nerve,  the use of fossil fuels will fall in 10 years ( economic factors ) and she has the prospect of being known ( superficially) as one of the most capable courageous polys ever .( should she pull it off)
Bern But that fall in use levels will have nothing to do with a carbon tax
Sir H  That's.. why its a brilliant strategy. She wins , we think we win .  Great intentions, great impressions
Bern Only takes a few people to tell the truth though , to make the people realise they are like those frogs ---being cooked up slowly by a small increase in temperature and pressure .The general tax doesn't work as the productivity commission and any academic of addition, productive economic theory will tell you -hippocket works but only if its"  well targeted and well placed". This way  the poor and  the addicted suffer and people die and give up - its crude and pathetic
SirH   Crude and Pathetic eh?  its taken you a while to sum up the substance of some!

Bern : Sometime I wish the people were more intelligent 

Sir H So do I... but the media they rely on are backward ,reactionary and revisionist; even sycophantic and religious.
Lucky for  new Labor(  like the one that put Rudd in ); The more effective wannabe groups  win by taking the religious nature RN  of the whole  constituency seriously and use it - beats ignoring the RN  like the media have been trying to do for years.
Bern Takes one to know one perhaps ?

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September 02, 2011

Hey what are we going to do with the TV series ? 

We can't let Julia go . The TV series would have been the drama of the decade - so real , so scary,  so painful .Hamlet without the blood - nothing better than vicarious engagement for entertainment. If only the ABC could get it , they would produce something honest and engaging instead of  reactionary predictable and lilley puddlian loud wars on everything .

July 18, 2011

Very Courageous Julia 

Bern  Do you think Julia  is being a bit simple ----thinking the people just need a few facts on the carbon tax ? Our Prime Minister  wears out her shoes to explain new taxes and failed policies  . 
SirH  Of course Bernard You know new leaders always think they know.  Doesn't matter which party . The difference in Australia in 2011 is that....... I'm not there now and you're not there now either .
Bern And the bloke that is there ---- was so many rungs down when I left , I didn't even know who he was
Sir H  He probably knew he wasn't up to the job ( reached his level of incompetence a lot lower on the ladder ) at the time .
Bern   So what option has he got --he would realise noone else seemed to know more than he did , wanted the job , or could say yes in quite the right way,  plus , he was impressed/ overwhelmed  with the offer and honor  .Where angels fear to tread .
SirH  Worse Bernard - an honest bloke like you wouldn't get the job NOW because you wouldn't fall for the quick fix of new clothes , that gets many new leaders and fad fanciers  in . You too know that business doesn't know best, (only whats best for it) , but some of these industry clones don't . You'd probably end up getting angry and use the word bullsh.    
Bern But why does this weakness  work its way up to the top  ?
SirH It works because quick fixers flock together . They can't stick at anything and make it work,  so they start to believe that the only thing that works is new and shiny .
Bern And so why do we get these fad fanciers in parliament
SirH Because Noone in business would allow them to spend their hard earned resources this way .

Bern Not all of them are this bad.... surely  ?
SirH Of course not , some of those advisors ( like us ) did a good job to even influence these flights of fancy types !
Bern  We are pretty brilliant  really !

September 28, 2010

Whose the boss ere ? 

The unbelievers have had a hard month . First we get a hung parliament ( which gives power to the truth ) and now,  we have a hung grand final ( which gives power to the unpredictable ) .The wannabes  may talk about paradigm change,  but the reality is ; they are not driving it , it's driving them  !  
The hung ( sometimes keeping their place on the ladder is all they know )  think they are in charge,  ........but someone else more knowledgable clearly is.  
All the certainties of the overly comfortable have been undermined. 
How are Humphrey , His mentor (Sirif)  and Bern coping with all this ?
Bern  Finally ....we have a leader
SirH  They worry , BUT what about us . We normally know exactly what's going to happen, and just as much at election time,  as any .  We  know that whatever their brilliance, whichever Party they are ...  Whoever gets in , don't matter. Whoever they are they are , they will eventually have to come to us and listen. to us. We know they will eventually listen....... to us
Bern We just have to wait then?
Sirif They only think they know eh ?
Period of silence surrounded by the insecurity of September 2010
Bern  But whose really in charge of Greenlabor?.
SirH   Its not exactly a match made in heaven eh ifffy
Sirif     Lots of heavenly minded stuff ...........
SirH ........of no earthly use
Bern  So what are they going to do at their first day back at work tomorrow?   .Tackle the  highly acclaimed and " everybody said " ( media said ) critical new age issue of "climate change action"?

SirH   Did you hear Iffy that Ms Gillard has got a leadership group together on climate change today already
Sirif    Leadership .....at work ? Premptive strike ? face suggests otherwise
SirH    and that 2 leading spokesman on CC are likely to gain greatly from a tax ,  sorry I should have said  "price" . .......Sounds better.
Sirff  It must the only thing in democratic history that suits both us , the polys and even some big business- a new tax that's got "good' stamped all over it .....by the dummies who will pay for us to play with it . Too good to be true - this bit of history! More Money for peas ,meat and gravy
Cameraman ( to himself) Too good to last

Bern   Leadership at last ? -premptive strike by the president!
SirH 18 mths in committee will be enough to kill it off completely !Strike out !
Bern   No better way to 'solve'  a problem than to give it to a committee eh
Sirif   You better watch out humpy - she's not stupid - she knows some of your tricks!
Cameraman    Weak as piss.......... the lot of em

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